My uncle Alan died last week, on April 1st, after being removed from \nlife support. I’ve sat down to write about it several times since we \ngot home, maybe this time I’ll actually finish…<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We got a call last Saturday that he was going to be unplugged on \nSunday, with as many family members who could be, and wanted to be, \npresent. I wanted to be there to say good bye, all accounts were that \nthe man was already gone – only the shell remained. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
After discovering that flights would have cost us the better part of \n$1100, we hit the road Sunday morning for the drive down. We got a call\n from my dad just as we were crossing the OR\/CA border that Alan had \npassed peacefully and quickly after being removed from the respirator.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Alan was one of eight children – he was my mom’s baby brother – and \nthe only one of my mom’s siblings I really know (knew?). Alan and Amy \nlived near us for most of my life, and I spent a lot of time with them –\n holidays, parties, and for no particular reason at all. I guess that’s\n what people mean by “family.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When Dawnise and I were looking for our first place together, Chino \nHills had the double advantage of being vaguely centrally located to our\n relative commutes, but more importantly – it was close to Amy and Alan.\n So we rented a condo, and became neighbors. When we bought our first \nhouse, it was literally around the corner from them – and we’d invite \nthem to dinner at their place regularly : Amy’s cat allergies prevented \nus from actually hosting. Dawnise came to think of Amy and Alan as the \naunt and uncle she never had. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I only wish that I had been able to tell him how much he meant to me while he was still around to hear it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The service was well attended – with much laughter during the shared \nremembrance. As an ER nurse, Alan touched countless lives, and many of \nhis co-workers – and at least one former patient – came to pay their \nrespects. Many folks took the time to share stories and memories of \nAlan – starting with my mom, and including myself, my aunt Dawn, Dawnise\n and many others. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My brother couldn’t be at the service – he’s on a 40-odd day \nwilderness trek through Utah – and he (and my sister) are at least as \nclose to Amy and Alan as I am. I said a few words on his behalf – \n’cause he couldn’t be there to say them – and I suspect even had he been\n there, he’d have had a hard time doing so. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was told afterwards that I spoke well – but to be honest, I didn’t \nknow what I was going to say when I walked up there, and I had little \nrecollection of what I said when I was finished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The centerpiece of the service was a photo montage, assembled by \nShawna, Laurie, Dawnise and Christopher. I’m working on making it \navailable online for those who couldn’t be there to see it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
My aunt Amy, in the midst of all this, managed to throw a party Alan \nwould have attended – which is exactly what he would have wanted. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
One of the songs used in the montage was Tim McGraw’s Live Like You Were Dying<\/a>.\n When it came on the radio late Thursday night on our drive home I \nfinally lost it, and sat sobbing in the car while Dawnise drove. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Gone, but never forgotten. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My uncle Alan died last week, on April 1st, after being removed from life support. I’ve sat down to write about it several times since we got home, maybe this time I’ll actually finish… We got a call last Saturday that he was going to be unplugged on Sunday, with as many family members who … Continue reading “Loss”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-74","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-selected-back-issues"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/74","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=74"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/74\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":75,"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/74\/revisions\/75"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=74"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=74"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=74"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}