I learned on a flight that my aunt lost her second husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That sentence is true, but doesn\u2019t fully convey my meaning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My aunt\u2019s husband has died.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is the second husband she\u2019s outlived.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So right now, even more than usual, I take small solace in the unfairness of the universe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In knowing that we don\u2019t get everything we deserve. And that we don\u2019t deserve everything we get.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My aunt\u2019s first husband – my uncle – didn\u2019t deserve to die. My aunt\u2019s second husband didn\u2019t, either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And my aunt didn\u2019t deserve to go thought the loss of a partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Twice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My uncle was my mom\u2019s baby brother. Much younger than her – the youngest of 8 siblings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He and my aunt were the only extended family that lived close to us, were the only extended family I saw with any regularity, were the only extended family I was close to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They had a huge positive impact on my life, and on my younger brother and sister.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And on my wife and I, who moved a few blocks away from them when we first started out together. They were a safety net. Role models. Dinner companions. Friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Their kids were the only cousins I really knew, though I had (have) many. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Despite years of closeness, we\u2019ve drifted apart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We moved – out of the area, out of the country. If I\u2019m honest we – I<\/em> – didn\u2019t know how to \u201cgo back to normal\u201d after my uncle died.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now my Aunt, and my cousins and I are miles and years apart. And the gap seems\u2026 vast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He wasn\u2019t the first loss I\u2019d experienced, but there\u2019s no doubt it was the deepest cut I\u2019d felt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I remember – like it just happened – driving through the night, tears streaming down my face, feeling for the first time utterly and completely broken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Lost, despite my partner and constant navigator sitting next to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And I was just his nephew. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Not his sons. Not his daughter-in-law. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Not his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I heard the news, I did the only thing I could, though the gesture felt empty even as I made it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I reached out to say I\u2019m sorry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I learned on a flight that my aunt lost her second husband. That sentence is true, but doesn\u2019t fully convey my meaning. My aunt\u2019s husband has died. This is the second husband she\u2019s outlived. So right now, even more than usual, I take small solace in the unfairness of the universe. In knowing that we … Continue reading “The General Hostility and Unfairness of the Universe”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1500","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-the-universe-and-everything"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1500","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1500"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1500\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1509,"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1500\/revisions\/1509"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1500"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1500"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.oubliette.org\/blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1500"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}