Missives from the 6th Floor

We got there 10 minutes after opening to find the parking lot rapidly filling and the store already a bustle of activity. Guess east-siders are less god fearing than folks on the other side of the Sound. Don't get me wrong - I'm generally against organized religion, but I find some of it's side effects convenient in certain regards.

I hate being in crowded stores - I get it from my dad, I think. When the store's that crowded, I can't focus on finding what I'm looking for - I focus on not obstructing the flow of traffic, killing unsupervised children with my cart (even when I think they deserve it) and generally not contributing to the chaos. Crowded stores are stressful places.

People drive their carts the way they tend to drive their cars - carelessly and without skill. They focus on the place they're trying to go (the item they're after in a store, their destination on the road) and not on the task of driving.

Most people shift focus from the item they're currently interested in and pivot their cart toward the next target, never checking for obstacles (other people) in their path. They take random turns without making sure they're not turning into someone else's path. They stop at a place that's convenient for them to inspect or collect the item of interest, without considering the affect their parking job has on traffic around them.

It really gets my knickers in a knot.

But what really gets under my skin are parents with a gaggle of kids surrounding their cart like a wad of human cholesterol in the arteries of the store. The kids wander in front of moving carts, drift aimlessly across isles in vein pursuit of the latest sugary cereal, or shiny toy, and dart into spaces that they're convinced they can fit through, not having the experience to understand the implications of bad judgment (crunch). These kids see their parents not being concerned with their effect on the ecosystem and perpetuate the pattern.

Sometimes I just wanna run the little shits over, while they're still young enough to learn from the experience.

And once I've mowed them down with my cart full of toilet rolls, I'll gun for their parents.

So we need to find another time or place to do our shopping. Or I need to outfit my cart with a cow-catcher.